Tag: intergenerational activities

Principle 9: Helping Others is a Deep Desire of Older Adults

Leave a comment

Post 10 of 11 in a series on the 10 Principles of Older Adult Ministry (banner image by Raul Petrie from Unsplash)

I love TikTok. It is a bit of a guilty pleasure.  Several times a week, I contemplate taking the video sharing, social media app off my cell phone because I can easily spend hours scrolling through one-minute dance and pet videos. But one of the reasons that I have resisted deleting the app is the unexpected intergenerational aspect. I absolutely love seeing the #over70club share videos dispensing wisdom, recipes, advice, and dance routines.

Many of the videos that pop up on my “For You” page are older adults offering encouragement and blessings for youth and young adults who feel overwhelmed by societal expectations and demands. While most comment sections on the internet can be awful and negative places, the comments on the videos of these older adults can be surprisingly wholesome. Ranging from “I really needed this message today” to “We must protect this grandpa at all costs,” the comments almost always offer affirmation and appreciation for the offerings of these content creators. In these small online interactions, I see something that our culture is hungry for: the wisdom, help, and the blessings of older adults.

In Malidoma Patrice Some’s The Healing Wisdom of Africa, she cites “the power of blessing” as one of the primary duties of an elder in the Dagara Community of West Africa; a responsibility that is only given to the old and wise. An elder’s assistance and blessing are vital to the functioning of the entire community. Bestowing a blessing gives the elders a sense of purpose and call in older age, while also offering much needed perspective to the younger in the village.

In my own work as a hospice chaplain, I have seen how this sense of call and purpose extends throughout the end of life. “I just don’t want to be a burden,” is one of the things I hear most often when I am caring for people in hospice. After lengthy conversations, I have come to see that the concern is more nuanced than it seems on its head. Underlying the fear of being a burden is also a strong desire to be a blessing, even when death is near. Plagued with life limiting illness, so many people still want to find ways to offer love, hospitality, and blessings to those around them and beyond. Witnessing the enduring call of Christ’s discipleship even for those in hospice care has been deeply inspiring and sustaining to me. With vision, care, and creativity, I have found that there are always ways to ensure that older adults feel like a blessing, not a burden.

While the blessings of older adults need not be contained in one-minute TikTok videos, I do think those short videos can be instructive for the Church in harnessing the service and gifts of older adults. One of our roles in Christian education can be providing specific, time bound opportunities for older adults to be of service that emphasize blessing, story, and connection. And a little dancing never hurts.

Zeena Regis is a chaplain, consultant, and writer. She worked in hospice and palliative care as a chaplain and bereavement coordinator for close to a decade. She is the founder of The Threshold Planning Project and is passionate about ensuring all people have access to quality and culturally-responsive end-of-life/grief support and resources.

Principle 5-Diversity of Programming Provides the Depth to Engage a Breadth of Situations and Circumstances

Leave a comment

Post 6 of 11 in a series on the 10 Principles of Older Adult Ministry (banner image by Raul Petrie from Unsplash)

This includes a great variety of housing situations, and “family” relationships

How does the church program for “older adults?” Joyce MacKichan Walker, Retired Church Educator/Pastor, Princeton, New Jersey reminds the church in “Principle 5: Diversity of programming provides the depth to engage a breadth of situations and circumstances,” (HOPE4CE website). What if the changes and disruptions of today are really “Kin-dom times?” Current day demographics, extended lifespans, and technology redefine for us what “Diversity of programming” might look like.  It can be diverse generational configurations, a variety of engagement, and point of access/engagement. Parallel programming for discrete segments of the congregation gives way to integrated programming rife with collaboration.

“Children and Family” programming no longer targets exclusively twenty to fifty something year old adults.  Adoptive, fostering, and multi-generational households have blessed the church with grandparents, aunts, and uncles being primary caregivers. Older adults such as Fred are helping with on-line schooling and learning through their nieces/nephews/grandchildren how to use electronic classroom software.  Perhaps the traditional “Christmas Pageant” for young children now looks like a zoom gathering where children tell the story and older adults such as Martha participate as sheep, lamb, angels, and innkeepers. Perhaps like Mary, who is in her spry 80’s, a widowed member of the congregation, drops by VBS to see if they need another hand.  She woke up and “the Holy Spirit just told her she was needed.” Perhaps like Margaret, a single and retired member of the congregation, one joins on-line Bible Study and Prayer Groups even though she may no longer attend in person – whether for reasons of a present pandemic or being more house bound due to mobility issues.

What the church knows for sure is that congregating is a form of communicating.  Programming facilitates that communication.  Whether we do so in person, on-line, or by mail the followers of Jesus Christ hold onto the early tradition of sharing good news through letters and other long-distance communications.  Current church programming which targets older adults, maintains connections irregardless of “ages and stages.” Learning and dependence are no longer limited to one age or one stage.  If Elder Mark cannot figure out how to “unmute” himself, odds are that the ten-year-old in the group can help him. The church is challenged to program for older adults by embracing the reality of caregiver and care needer, by seeing the reversal of adults as experts and engaging children as teachers, and moreover by finding new ways to communicate that our older adults are needed and able. Traditional roles are upended, as the gospel often tells us will happen, when the kin-dom of God is at hand.

Kathryn, “Kat,” is the Coordinator of Children’s Ministries at Second Presbyterian Church of Indianapolis.  She collaborates across the church’s ministry areas to create programs with a “child-sized-bite” of the congregation’s service, formation, mission, and worship. She is also a member of the Hope4CE Steering Committee.

Principle 3-Faith Formation Is Concerned with All of One’s Life

Leave a comment

Post 4 of 11 in a series on the 10 Principles of Older Adult Ministry (banner image by Raul Petrie from Unsplash)

I work primarily with children and youth and in many churches with the budget, there will be a dedicated person like me on the paid staff. We are there to walk along with the young people as they begin their faith journey. We are there for the emotional, physical, mental, and spiritual needs during those important ages and stages. The things is, this journey is for life. It never ends. We are always learning, exploring, questioning, and needing someone to walk alongside us. As adults we plan a little more of that journey on our own. Gathering for Bible studies, worshipping, involving ourselves in committees with some Pastoral Care to help us when times are tough.

But what about those of us who are getting older and we begin to have varying degrees of mobility and energy? When we cannot engage in the ways we used to, how will the church walk alongside us then?

I know that in early retirement we often get a burst of energy in our congregations. People suddenly have more time to share their talents, attend Bible studies, and serve on committees. Then comes the next stage when mobility, transportation, and even medical issues can limit our involvement or may require some assistance from others.

I worked at a church who was blessed to have a Parish Nurse. I was in awe of the work she did. From taking tours of assisted living facilities with our members, to helping them secure in-home medical equipment, to driving them to doctors appointments, to setting up groups to share their grief, she worked tirelessly to meet the needs of our older members. Still engaging them and connecting them to their beloved community. It was amazing how many people relied on her and grew to love her so. Not unlike my job with youth, our older congregants may need a little more assistance on that faithful journey.

Creative Commons-University of Maryland

As churches, it is important that we are still meeting those important needs of our members as they step into a new season of their lives. This is why I think intergenerational ministry is so important. It feeds spiritual needs of all ages. It connects us to one another and to God. Faith formation is concerned with all of one’s life, but the needs may not be so different. As you think about your adult educational opportunities for the fall, I encourage you to think about ways you can cross the generations.

  • Older members make wonderful Confirmation mentors
  • Have your older members share their stories with your youth and children as part of Sunday school
  • Create opportunities for all ages to break bread together
  • Participate in a service project together
  • Have a monthly or quarterly intergenerational Sunday school
  • In our church we have 2 weekly caregivers, who members and friends of our church can contact throughout the week for meals, rides, prayer, whatever. It is a great way to connect our congregation while taking care of one another.

I encourage you to create environments where everyone learns from each other. Of course we have things like VBS and Sunday school where we need volunteer teachers. Those are always powerful ways to connect the generations. I also encourage you to create the above opportunities where we gather and are community together. Young learning from older and older learning from our wise young people.

Faith formation can be cultivated in many ways. Ann teaches Bella and Nash a new skill. Bella and Nash connect with Ann in a genuine way that creates a bond.

Faith formation is concerned with our entire lives. We are always learning and always growing. There is a woman in my church who plays the glasses. Literally has a set up of wine glasses in different sizes that she plays and it is incredible. My daughter saw this on display one Sunday and was in awe. The woman invited my daughter over to her home to show her how to play. My daughter is a musician and picked it up quickly and the two of them played music all afternoon together. My daughter was taught how to play glasses, but my daughter was also part of this woman’s faith journey. Spending time with someone who missed her own children and grandchildren and was able to share something that gave her so much joy. These holy moments can come where we are forming faith and we don’t even know it.

There are so many ways we can continue to form faith throughout all the ages and it may never involve a Bible or a curriculum. Get creative in connecting with our older members because those may be the ones that surprise you most.

Karen Miller is Director of Children and Youth Ministries at Church of Reconciliation in Chapel Hill, NC and a Member of the Hope4CE Steering Committee

FIG-Families In the Garden

Leave a comment

Is your church searching for a family activity that moves slowly into an expanded social bubble while providing an opportunity for the congregation to begin to “regather” in person on your campus? Why not be a FIG and DIG?

family in the garden (003)
Children of God, of all ages, are looking for ways to connect beyond screens. Church activities have been fairly two dimensional in the last few months. Now, we are all ready to head outdoors and back to working together doing kingdom work with kingdom hands. Second Presbyterian Church is reviving one such project called FIG. The “Green Team” tends the Northside Community Garden to provide fresh fruits and vegetables to the Northside Ministry’s Food Pantry. They collaborated with the Children’s Ministries Team to include members of all ages. Three years ago, a program called “FIG” began.
“FIG” is a collaborative partnership between the Community Garden and the Children’s Ministries program. It stands for Families in the Garden.

Continue reading →