Category: Difficult Times

Educational Designs for times of distress

Outdoor Sunday School-A Nursing Perspective

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I live in Austin, Texas, and attend Central Presbyterian Church in downtown Austin. I run the children’s program under the associate pastor as well as teach Godly Play. During the week I am a pediatric home health nurse. I work nights fifty hours a week for a patient who is severely immune compromised, the common flu or RSV sends my patient to the (P)ICU. When I went into isolation March 13th, 2020, I did not know it would be 15 months until I would see any of my church family again.  

We reopened June 13th, 2021, with masking HIGHLY encouraged for everyone and the first thing I did when I sat down in the pews again was look out the windows and see some of my kids. I got right back up and went outside to be with them, because that is where I have always been called to be in the church, with the children.  

I wanted to be there for the kids and return to some sense of ”normal,” so I began brainstorming how to best restart our Godly Play program. Over the lockdown I had been writing a small synopsis for our e-blast with YouTube links for videos of that week’s story. I didn’t do Godly Play live during quarantine because it felt like it was one more thing for parents to feel obligated to chaperone and I liked the idea of them being able to do it on their time. When we were able to come back together I wanted to do so in the safest way possible and that was never going to happen in doors.  

I was vaccinated, but the vaccine was not available (and still is not currently available, but might be, come October! *fingers crossed*) for children at that time. So the safest place for us to meet was outside. The only problem? It was summer in central Texas with temperatures consistently in the 90’s. That first Sunday back while talking to some of the parents on the playground I threw around the idea of restarting Godly Play outside. There is this space in our playground that used to have swings, but those were torn down a few years ago due to safety concerns (they were falling apart). The area was constantly in the shade between the fellowship hall and a neighboring parking garage. It was at least 5 degrees cooler there. I got an old quilt for us to sit on (that I washed every week) and encouraged everyone to bring their own water bottles (or provided individual ones). Our fellowship hall was right there if anyone needed a few minutes of AC and I decided not to provide snacks. When I was out of town I would let everyone know a week or two in advance and decided against having a substitute. I continued to send the YouTube videos via blast for those who were still unable to join us. All of these precautions I took to heart very seriously for the safety of my patient and our children‘s health.  

Two months later Austin returned to a level 4 and quickly a level 5 and I had to tell the pastor that I no longer felt like it would be safe to conduct Godly Play in person again with the rise in cases and the severity of the Delta strain. These are by no means the only ways to keep our little ones safe and to keep spreading the stories of the Bible, but they were the ones I made for me and mine because I love these children and want only to do the best by them as much as I am able. 

Benita Alice “Allie” Barden, RN, Austin, TX

Monument to Hope

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Hope4CE is marking the 20th Anniversary of the events of September 11, 2001 with a recorded service of testimony and reflection found here. One the generous people who submitted a video testimony was Chef Rossi, who also blessed us with this article on her experiences, as well. You will also find a file of the adapted liturgy we used for this service at bottom of this article for use in your own faith communities. We hope you find this as meaningful as we did. (Feature Photo is of memorial at Ground Zero in New York)

On September 11th 2001 I was a twenty-something year old chef with a new, but growing catering company in New York City. It was a beautiful morning. The sun was radiant, the air crisp. I was looking forward to spending time on the roof deck. Then the world as we knew it ended.

I watched the towers burn from my roof. Then the impossible happened. Like a deck of thousands of silver cards, the first tower collapsed.

I’d never heard the sound I heard after the tower fell: thousands of people screaming.

The empty space in the sky became a monument to loss.

A few days later, I walked to South Street Seaport. The security guards at Seaman’s Church, knew me from my time catering there. They yelled, “We got a chef!”

Chef Rossi at Seaman’s Church, Ground Zero in 2001

“Send her to St. Paul’s!” A fireman shouted.

They handed me a yellow hard hat and paper mask and put me in the back of a pickup truck.

The truck made its way through police barricades, ruined cars and piles of debris. The air was so thick with dust, it felt as though it were snowing.  It stopped in front of an old church.

Two flustered women were flipping burgers on two small backyard barbecues. They were only too happy to step aside. I flipped burgers all day, into the night.

They said we fed a thousand first responders that day.

I came back the next day and the next and the next. I roped in my friend Brian to help.

On September 18th, Brian and I talked about how surreal it felt to spend Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, at Ground Zero.

As we were talking, a man in an Army uniform with a long white beard started to recite the Rosh Hashanah prayers.

We’d made it to services after all.

The Army rabbi took out a shofar from his bag.

“Te-ki-ahhh!” said the rabbi and blew.

“She-va-riiiim!” sung the rabbi and blew three pulsating blasts.

The horn’s mournful cry rose up over the burnt wreckage of the towers, the paper and dust covered tombstones in St. Paul’s cemetery and the firefighters in the tent near The Pile.

I thought of the volunteers who took turns hiding in the wreckage so the dogs that had grown despondent from days of finding no survivors could sniff them out. Everyone cheered as each volunteer was found and the German shepherd barked in glee.

I thought of the silver-haired fireman who’d driven from Cincinnati to join the bucket brigade.

“Do you know anyone who was lost?” I asked.

“We’re all brothers today,” he responded.

I looked at the empty space in the sky.

“Monument to hope.”

Chef Rossi, writer, chef, public speaker, and blogger based in New York City.

Recorded Service Link and file of liturgy from recorded service adapted from PC(USA) worship resources for the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

liturgical-elements-from-9-11-serviceDownload

Principle 7- Many Highly Significant Life Transitions Occur in the Last Third of Life

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Post 8 of 11 in a series on the 10 Principles of Older Adult Ministry (banner image by Raul Petrie from Unsplash)

“These are key opportunities for fostering spiritual exploration, inviting growth, empowering resilience, developing coping strategies, providing special care, connecting to a small group with similar changes or needs.” (Joyce MacKichan Walker-Principle 7)

Some of Rev. Joyce MacKichan Walker’s earlier principles highlight the wide variations that can be found within older adults (e.g. understandings of Christian faith, and religious-spiritual identities and needs). A person’s condition, for their age is also subject to wide variation; we all know people who we regard as young for their age while others are deemed “old” for their age.  While few, if any, of us like to think about or discuss growing older, the silver lining is that it is arguably the one and only thing that unites us as humans, irrespective of color, race, creed, geography etc.  So, maybe it is a worthwhile subject to not only embrace but also talk about with our fellow humans.  After all, we quickly find that we have a lot in common!  If we think in a counter-intuitive manner about aging, we first start to realize that becoming old is a privilege that not all humans get to experience. Moreover, despite our declining mental and physical abilities, we can start to discover, recognize and use our spirituality so that it becomes our “front and center” sustainer in our “Third Thirty” years.

Chart from Chris Pomfret’s workshops on the Third Thirty

Inevitably, “events” will happen in our Third Thirty.  Perhaps the historic reluctance to think or talk about aging is because we know these events (illness, loss of spouse, falls, etc) will occur at some stage; we just don’t know when, but we know that the clock is ticking.  Additionally, our egos are fed by our continuing to conduct activities that we have previously performed (climbing ladders, yard work, driving ….. ).  Our spirituality, deep within us, can help us to accept the loss of physical or mental acuities with grace and peace of mind.  It can also help us to be at peace with the finality of life and to find the strength and will to prepare everything so that our loved ones have an easier time after our death.  By gracefully accepting that our abilities are declining, we can find the means to accept help when offered, or ask for help, rather than our intuitive egos believing that to do so is a sign of weakness. The counter-intuitive result of accepting help or asking for help is that we give to the person assisting us; how wonderful is that?!

Our spirituality can also help us determine when the right time is to let go of doing certain tasks by being mindful and “listening to our body”.  We thus become willing to let go of things that we have previously believed to be important, be they material things or past grudges.  Uppermost for many of us will be the courage to stop driving when the time comes and feel at peace that life can indeed go on without being at the wheel. We can also pass on legacies and experiences either by writing them down as a “life review” exercise or by creating precious memories with loved ones by carving out time, one-on-one, with them and story-telling.  All these things take mindfulness and conscious acceptance of the stage of life that we are in.

The reality is that many more transitions will likely occur in our Third Thirty than happened in our second thirty. Finding and using our spirituality can help us to accept that unwelcome fact, and do the things to prepare as much as we can for the final third of life to be as enjoyable for ourselves and our loved ones as possible.

Chris Pomfret is a retired aerospace engineer and business owner, who decided as a result of watching his parents age, that we needed to be much more conscious of the challenges of aging before it becomes too late. Chris thus started “The Third Thirty” in 2012, a curriculum to encourage people to think, plan, and prepare for aging and adopt a positive hands-on approach, instead of ignoring the realities of later life. Chris lives in New Orleans with his wife of 42 years and has two grown children.

A Note from the Editor: Chris Pomfret’s curriculum, “The Third Thirty” is available free of charge, by contacting him either through the Hope4CE contact page on this site or through a private message to him directly on Facebook.

Youth Faith Connections for Mental Health

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In a previous article I lamented how this pandemic had exhausted me. At one time it had energized, but now I was just done. Not only are we dealing with our own emotions and fatigue, we have congregations to hold up, including youth and children that have gone through a traumatic year.

Milestones missed. Grades at risk. Athletic seasons wiped out. Friendships lost. An entire school year that did not match any that came before it. This is a lot on top of the stress that the tween and teen years can bring all on their own. We check in with our kids and youth, but sometimes we do not have enough time or the right timing to get into the deeper feelings they are having.

In my ministry I struggle with assuming needs. I absolutely want to fill needs, but I don’t ever want to assume what they need. What I see from the outside may not be what they are feeling inside. A few years ago I received a call at 10:30 pm on a weeknight. It was our parish nurse and she was with the family of one of my youth whose father had been released from the hospital to pass away at home from a glioblastoma. They figured it could be a matter of hours and our nurse thought I should be there for my youth, an only child at 14 years old. I went into panic mode. What was I going to say? What was I going to do? This was my first touch with death from one of my youth with a beloved parent and it sadly would not be my last.

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Is Everything Fine?

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Everything’s fine…

That is what I keep telling myself. The truth is that it is not.

I have no new ideas.

Asian woman with post-it notes all over her and her computer

 

I see your ideas on Facebook and hear them in Zoom meetings. I do. They’re great. I read them and feel like I am in 8th grade again and am jealous of Kristin’s Guess Jeans. I want a triangle on my bum, but my mom says I have to pay for half and I am lazy. I am jealous of the ideas, but am so burnt out right now.

 

Am I down on myself? For sure, but after meeting with the Hope4CE Steering Committee I know that I am not alone. We are all feeling it. Maybe you can’t pack one more bag, do one more porch drop off, edit one more video, look at one more poorly attended Zoom meeting. I am here to tell you that it is ok.

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Beyond the Book Club: Anti-Racist Children and Family Ministry

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This is a reblog from Christine V Hides’ site with her permission. This is a very important post for our times and for our ongoing work in loving our neighbors. KLD

Christine V Hides

There seems to be a pattern. Whenever a video of a Black person being killed emerges, shock and outrage fill our social media feeds. White people begin to ask (again), “what can we do?” Booklists begin to circulate (again) on social media. Book clubs begin (again). Fortunately, there is a wealth of excellent resources for learning about the history of systemic racism in the United States. There are also amazing lists of books to read with children and tips to help White parents to have important conversations about race. I am grateful for the hard work and effort of those who write and curate these resources and the churches who engage with these hard conversations. But…

Unfortunately, in both society and in Children and Family Ministry our efforts often don’t move beyond the book club. White colleagues, let’s not wait until the next horrifying news event to take…

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What You Don’t Know Won’t Hurt You

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“What you don’t know won’t hurt you” is an old idiom that many of us have heard over the years. It essentially means that if you do not know about a problem or a misdeed, you do not have to worry about it, feel responsible for it, or get upset about it. In essence, if we can’t see it, can’t feel it, can’t hear it, or can’t touch it, then it won’t hurt us. The unknown becomes our safe haven as we choose not to engage that which is powerfully present.

And yet, at the dawning of this new decade, who would have thought that we would be faced with this unknown force called COVID-19? This invisible force is something that we cannot make tangible with our senses but it is changing the way we do life. It is changing people. Continue reading →

Mother’s Day

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I am a mother of two. One bright, creative, full of life five year old and her sister who lives in heaven. Mother’s Day has always been tricky for me. Don’t get me wrong. I love recognizing my mom, both of my grandmothers and the many other important “mothering” people in my life. My living child has an amazing godmother and many positive female role models but Mother’s Day is a challenge.

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Youth Ministry in a Pandemic

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No one knows how to do ministry in a pandemic. This is all so difficult. My Presbyterian Youth Workers Association (PYWA) colleagues and I worked with the Office of Faith Formation to help provide some support to youth workers through some Quicksheets. The Quicksheet, “Stay Home, Stay Connected” gives youth workers some ideas about how to use our gifts of support and connection virtually as we do ministry in the midst of a pandemic. We are all doing our best and trying new things.

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A VIRTUAL BIBLE BRIDGE

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Let’s seize upon social distancing to build a virtual bridge (via Zoom) between our children/families and church staff, along with congregants known to have a special skill or hobby, or just a love for children. Beyond your church resources, many curriculum partners now offer FREE online “pandemic” materials (see attached). The Zoom platform is user-friendly and we all know techie folks. Our work is to coordinate these virtual partners.

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